Thinking of the holiday season brings images of presents, big meals, maybe even a table full of decadent desserts to mind. It's a time when even the busiest of families slow down, even for just a moment. It's time to pull on your favorite pair of fuzzy socks to cozy up on the couch and watch some old classics while the fireplace gently crackles in the background.
Ah, yes, the classics: 'Miracle on 34th Street,' 'A Christmas Carol.' Wholesome. Heartwarming. Faith-in-humanity-restoring. These types of movies usually go hand-in-hand with the holidays. But, wait. There's another genre to explore for those interested and willing: 'Tis the season for B-holiday horror movies!
'Thankskilling', Rated R (2009)
What do you get when you mix a group of college students on Thanksgiving break and a homicidal turkey with a foul mouth? Answer:'Thankskilling.' 'Thankskilling' is a low-budget horror flick from 2009, originally self-distributed by filmmakers via Amazon. It would later go on to grace streaming services with its story of Turkie the Turkey, who every 505 years comes out to kill. 'Thankskilling' is 70 minutes of pure horror spoof and one-liners, including its most infamous, "Gobble gobble, motherf***er." Oh, and there's also a topless Pilgrim woman as part of Turkie's origin story.
'Krampus,' Rated PG-13 (2015)
When a family just can't be joyful or thankful for Christmas, they get a visit from 'Krampus.' Krampus is an evil demon counterpart to Santa, who punishes those who do not hold the spirit of Christmas in their heart.
Adam Scott and Toni Collette star as parents of Max (Emjay Anthony), who accidentally summons the demon on Christmas Eve after his old German grandmother told its story, foreshadowing all the terrible events to come. The family must band together to survive the night, but a snowstorm also threatens their safety. 'Krampus' features killer toys and an epic scene where David Koechner is attacked by gingerbread men.
'Jack Frost', Rated R (1997)
Do not confuse this 'Jack Frost' with the heartwarming 1998 film of the same name. That one stars Michael Keaton and Kelly Preston and is a PG-rated, family-friendly film. This 'Jack Frost' is not any of that. Scott MacDonald stars as Jack Frost, a serial killer turned snowman after a car accident.
The evil snowman goes on a killing spree where he does away with all his victims in some pretty unique ways. There's a boy who is decapitated by a sled, a woman strangled by a strand of Christmas lights, and a man who has an ax shoved down this throat - to name a few.
'The Gingerdead Man,' Unrated (2005)
Ever wonder what Gary Busey would look like as a deranged serial killer cookie? 'The Gingerdead Man' has that covered. Millard Findlemeyer (Busey) is executed for his crimes and cremated. His mother, who is a witch, receives his ashes and decides to mix them into a batch of gingerbread spice. An unsuspecting baker and her boyfriend use the spice to make a gingerbread man, but end up with "homicidal baked goods."
'Santa's Slay,' Rated R (2005)
Santa Claus (Bill Goldberg) is actually a demon and this Christmas, he's done being nice. He sets out on his sleigh, ditching his reindeer for "hell deer," to wreak yuletide havoc in Alberta, Canada. Santa murders as many as he can, in various unique ways that showcase just how naughty he really is.
A woman is drowned in eggnog and a man is choked with a turkey leg. If that weren't festive enough, Santa also tries running over a couple of teens with a Zamboni. When Santa's Christmas slay has come to an end, he's seen boarding a plane to the North Pole and checking over his Naughty List and quips, "who's next?"
'Jack Frost 2: Revenge Of The Mutant Killer Snowman,' Rated R (2000)
Sam Tiler (Christopher Allport) is going on a tropical vacation while recovering from past trauma induced by killer snowman, Jack Frost. Little does he know, the frozen serial killer has been awakened and is on another rampage. Jack Frost begins slaying in even more unique ways than in the first movie.
There's an especially ridiculous scene where he stabs a man to death with his carrot nose. Also, when Jack came back, he came back stronger. He now can produce an evil baby snowman.
'Elves', Rated PG-13 (1989)
A department store Santa (Dan Haggerty) must help foil a Neo-Nazi plot to breed the perfect race, which is apparently half human-half elf. A Nazi group is after Kristen (Julie Austin) who is the last remaining pure-blooded Aryan virgin in the world. Their plan: breed her with the demonic elf she and her friends have accidentally awakened.
The visual effects are pure '80s gold, featuring a molded silicone-looking evil elf, while the plot leaves much to be desired. There's also a twisted sub-plot where Kristen finds out her father is also her grandfather.
'Thankskilling 3,' Unrated (2012)
'Thankskilling 3,' touts itself as "the first movie to skip its own sequel." That's right. There is no number 2. Well, that's because every single copy of 'Thankskilling 2' has been burned and only one copy remains. Turkie the turkey is back and he will stop at nothing to recover that Holy Grail of Thanksgiving movie magic.
To say this movie tops its predecessor as one of the best worst B-movies is an understatement. 'Thankskilling 3' features a bisexual worm from outer space, a rapping grandmother, and plenty of Turkie murder scenes (like the one where he spreads a dead man's insides on a piece of toast).
'Bloody New Year,' Rated R (1987)
There's a haunted hotel on a deserted island and a group of unsuspecting teenagers stumbles upon it. 'Bloody New Year' takes place decades after a 1959 New Year's Eve party at said hotel, where all of the guests mysteriously vanished. The teens, having grounded their boat, seek dry clothes and shelter in the hotel, when things start getting weird.
The hotel, still decorated for the holidays seems to be stuck in time. Ghostly apparitions appear at every turn and begin picking off members of the young group. Each slain teen turns undead and joins in the haunting.
'Terror Train,' Rated R (1980)
'Terror Train' is the story of a New Year's Eve college costume party aboard a train. It stars Scream Queen, Jamie Lee Curtis as Alana, a sorority member who is convinced to participate in a prank on a fraternity pledge. The prank goes terribly wrong and the pledge is admitted to a psychiatric hospital.
Three years later, the young group of pranksters attends the train party, and unknowingly allows a deranged killer (the pledge) to board. The film features plenty of seduction, corpses, and severed body parts. It's also the first feature film for magician, David Copperfield.
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